Hide and Seek Analyzed

Have you ever observed small children playing a game of hide and seek? The most enjoyable part for my 2 year old son is to be found. In fact he doesn't even try to hide very well - like he doesn't want to be forgotten or be out of contact for too long. Now apply that to our relationship with our heavenly Father. His greatest desire is for us to seek him and find him. His greatest joy is our pursuit of Him. Something to ponder.

Hardest Phrases to Say

1. I don't know
2. I'm sorry
3. I love you
4. I was wrong
5. I need help

All of them require vulnerability and honesty and can be the hardest phrases to willingly say at times.

Praise Him for Himself

Although it be good to think upon the kindness of God, and to love Him and praise Him for it; yet it is far better to gaze upon the pure essence of Him and to love Him and praise Him for Himself.
Author Unknown

You don't have to understand God to enjoy Him. He is knowable and yet He will never be completely known. Bill Oudemolen

Baby Tyler - 2 months

More Fall Fun

Clement Park
Matthew, Anna and Joseph had fun playing together.

Tender Moments

I love to hold a sleeping baby! I think Tyler could sleep in any position.

Sanctifying Moments

Well....I went back to work last week. I think that sentence alone says a lot to most Moms. What I've come to realize is that the more relationships I have, whether work or personal, the more I can no longer present myself as having it all together because one way or another I am revealed. Classic tale...last week at MOPS we were all telling our stories of "mother brain" (it takes over after pregnany brain). I was recounting the time I accidently locked Matthew in the car on a hot summer day and had to be rescued by the fire department. Not even two hours later I was at Target and wouldn't you know, I locked my keys in the car. Fortunately I had already gotten Tyler out, but Steve had to wake up Matthew and come rescue me again.

Then there is my Son whose two year old brain leads him to many "what if" scenarios to see how things work. Wednesday I surprised him in the act of using a pen to pry off the keys on my laptop (company owned laptop). I lost it and honestly I don't know if I would have done anything different if I had to do it all over again. Before children I considered myself a pretty in control, easy going, not easily angered person. It is amazing how much a two year old can push my buttons!! As I was driving to work on Thursday I was struck by how much God uses children to sanctify Moms (and Dads). That still small voice also reminded me that He is my Father and how often my relationship with my son is, or should be, a reflection of my relationship with Him.

So...tomorrow is another chance for me to practice what little tidbits I learn each day and another opportunity to exerience God's sanctifying love.

Does Your Head Hurt?

“If something is demonstrably the wrong thing to do…you don’t necessarily need an alternative in order to cease doing it. In order to stop beating your head against the wall, you don’t need something else to beat your head against.” Peter Scholtes

Golden Days

I love fall!! The cooler weather, cozy sweaters, hot cider, pumpkins and most of all the changing colors of the foliage. I miss Maine's burnt oranges and blazing reds, but Colorado has the beautiful golds. The mountains are speckled with gold in amongst the Evergreens and when you have the snow capped peaks in the background the scene is "a chocolate sundae for the soul" as Barbie would say.

These pictures were taken at the park at the end of our street. Even Tyler was smiling! They're a little dark as it was dusk and a storm was moving in, but you get the idea.

Boys Will Be Boys

I observed Matthew playing with some boys yesterday and came away from those interactions with questions about parenting. Where is the line between being protective in a healthy way vs. unhealthy? And/or when do my actions change from being regarded as "good" to being labeled as "bad" when allowing my child to behave as a "normal" kid when playing with other children?

My son and his little friend were acting more like siblings than friends yesterday, picking at each other, knocking each other down and almost duking it out on the floor. It is behavior we expect of boys, but when should I as a parent step in to break it up and reprimand my child as opposed to letting them work it out and learn to respect each other? Are those concepts too grown up for a two or three year old? I want him to learn respect, compassion, loyalty, negotiating skills, learn to lose, and learn how to win. It seems to me that if he were to begin to learn some of these skills before school, when I am not there to referee, that he would find survival a tad bit easier.

But....there are challanges to allowing little boys to "work it out". First, they can very quickly escalate to hurting each other, and second not many moms that I've talked to are willing to let it happen - as the behavior is not considered socially acceptable and third, it takes a lot of work for parents to try to teach these concepts instead of just putting the child in time out or punishing the behavior (granted sometimes the behavior is worthy of discipline!) Some of these thoughts spring from reading two books "Raising Cain: protecting the emotional life of boys" and "Wild at Heart" (sorry, I can't remember either author at the moment).

I would love to hear your feedback - especially Moms with boys.

Fall Fun

We went on a mini field trip to Lair of the Bear Park in Idledale, Colorado today. Matthew loves this park that runs along Bear Creek. I'm amazed we made it there since it takes me so long to get out of the house with two kids. Between diaper changes, feeding Tyler and getting us all dressed it is amazing that we even get to leave the house! We had lots of fun. Matthew pretended to catch fish and kill spiders. How I love his developing imagination!

Brotherly Love

Such sweet photos of my sweet boys!

Matthew Mischief

Matthew is slowly adjusting to having a baby brother. I'm realizing how much I accomodated his every need and many desires when he was an only child. Now he hears either "no" or "just a minute" or "not right now" a lot!! So he has turned his focus to ways to get attention. One such way is illustrated in the pictures. These used to be white and pink roses Steve brought home to me just becuase he could. I loved them and was very sad to walk into the living room to find the destruction! There wasn't a petal left on any of the 12 stems.

Motherhood - Not Always Fun!

I haven't really enjoyed being a Mom the last two days. Probably mostly because I'm tired. My precious 4 week old baby boy picked up the sniffles somewhere and has been needing Mommy even more than usual - which causes Matthew to be more clingy and less cooperative because he is jealous of my time with Tyler. So....I get cranky and loose my patience with Matthew and then feel like an awful Mother. The cycle is vicious!

Then there are the things I have to say "no" to - for example:
- No, don't put peanuts in your nose.
- No, you may not write on the entertainment center with the crayons.
- No, you may not bring the bucket of sand in the house.
- No, I can't wrestle with you when I'm holding your brother.
- No, you may not watch another hour of TV - even though I really want to let you because then I don't have to entertain you.
- No, you may not have a popsicle for breakfast.

So typical - yet so tiring to have to be the "mean" Mom all the time.

Then...tonight after getting the boys loaded in the car to go to the Saturday evening service my car wouldn't start - a dead battery. I was so mad!!! I called Steve and even though I didn't say so, my tone of voice implied that he was to blame. Yuk!!! Who am I?!? Where did the nice Joan go?

I want sleep!!! I want two hours of time away with a cup of coffee and a good book!!!

My Boys!!

Little Piece of History

The other adventure we embarked on was a trip to the Littleton Historic Museum. It turned out to be much hotter that day that forecast, but we still had fun. Tyler was the youngest visitor to the museum to date!

Tiny Town Adventures

We all went to Tiny Town on Sunday. Matthew loved riding the train and exploring all the little houses. I think we wore out Grandpa though!

Pictures at Last

A friend let me borrow her digital camera so I now have photos to share! Grandma and Grandpa Harriman are here this week helping me out while Steve is visiting his parents in NY. It has been fun to watch my Dad with Tyler - he seems to really be enjoying himself. Matthew is being a "typical" two year old with some definite jealousy of the loss of Mom's time. It is really hard to keep my patience with him when he is so whiny and needy. It takes a lot of energy to care for two compared to one!!!

People have been asking whether he looks more like Steve or Me. I really couldn't tell until I saw my baby picture that Mom brought along - he's a spitting image of me as a baby. I'll post the photo after I get it scanned and you can be the judge!


Tyler Scott VanDewater


Tyler with Grandpa Harriman

He's Here!!!

Tyler Scott VanDewater arrived at 2:20 a.m. on his due date 8/17/06!! I went into labor at 11:30 p.m. on the 16th with contractions about 6 minutes apart. We called Tracy, my midwife, at midnight and told her I didn't think this train was stopping. Little did we know that it was going to go warp speed. By the time we left for the birth center about an hour later I was having contractions I had to stop for and breath through about every 4 minutes. We got to the birth center around 1:30 a.m. and my midwife quickly welcomed me (as I was in the middle of a contraction) and rushed away to another Mom who was also giving birth that night. I got in the tub a few minutes later and starting having incredibly intense contractions. We did most of the process on our own other than a nurse who came in for a few minutes here and there. About 35 minutes later I felt the need to push and my water broke. Three pushes later I birthed his head - looked up at the nurse and said "his head's out, now what" at which point she left the room and Tracy came rushing in right after. The next push got his body out and Tracy quickly removed the cord from around his neck and handed him to me. Labor and delivery lasted a total of 3 hours. Amazing!

He needed just a little oxygen right after birth, but otherwise he was perfect and doing great. He weighs 7 lbs 15 oz and is 20 inches long with dark hair. We can't tell what color his eyes are for sure - he doesn't like to open them very far. He loves to suck and we're working on the breast feeding. I am hoping my milk comes in tomorrow so I can get that worry behind me.

Matthew is doing ok with the new brother. I think he is feeling some insecurity about not having my undivided attention and is acting out a bit - especially with Daddy. Hopefully we'll figure out how to meet his needs. I'm sure he'll get a little better when I am back on my feet.

Overall I'm feeling great - just the normal post delivery discomforts. I'm so thankful to have him here and be able to see his sweet little face!! I'm having lots of fun getting to know him. Love truly does multiply!

Any Day Now

Well...any day now I am hoping to be able to post on this blog that Tyler Scott VanDewater has arrived, but not yet. My due date is next thursday, August 17, but I'm hoping to go earlier in the week. I see my midwife today for my weekly checkup.

My last day of work is tomorrow and besides packing my bag and Matthew's bag I think I'm ready to go.

Last night was tough, I had the worst heartburn and had to sleep on the couch so I could be more upright. I will not miss the hearburn!!

Steve is still looking for a job, but God has blessed him with steady electrical contracting work for the last two weeks which keeps him busy and will help supplement when I am off work for 8 weeks. I'm still praying that we will have a definite direction and decision by the end of the week or early next week so we can put that pressure behind us when the baby comes.

Waiting expectantly.....