Parent Job Description

(Forwarded from a fellow parent - we both agree we still would have taken the job)

POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, PopJOB

DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 m ph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, letting them know they are appreciated for the fabulous job they do...or forward with love to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

** AND A FOOTNOTE 'THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!!

Brothers

It was 76 degrees in Denver today. We went to the park on the hill hoping for a beautiful sunset, but there wasn't a cloud in the sky. Oh well, we had lots of fun playing anyway.

Football at the Park

We were out enjoying the beautiful weather yesterday and Matthew and Steve threw around the Football.
Tyler had fun just playing in the sand and sliding down the slide.

Sleepy Boy

Tyler just couldn't get through his lunch. My sweet sleepy boy!

Friends

There is nothing better than a visit with a friend! My dear friend Lisa came to town from NM for a few days. I'm so glad I got to spend a little time with her and the kids got to play. They were being quite silly - as evidenced in these photos.

Matthew, Shiloh, Tyler and Landon

Landon, Matthew and Shiloh

Leaves

Winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil painting and autumn a mosaic of them all.- Stanley Horowitz

I love fall. In fact, I think it is my favorite season. Steve was raking leaves today and the boys had lots of fun.

Matthew made a "gimongous" pile of leaves.

Pumpkin Power

Matthew and Tyler both loved their costumes! Matthew the Power Ranger and Tyler the Pumpkin (he wouldn't wear the hat). They got to got to a Fall Festival at Matthew's school and then go Trick-or-Treating. The last couple years we have gone early and then used the extra candy to hand out to the loads of kids that come to our door. It's great, then we have less candy around. The little guy in the "Blue's Clues" outfit is Connor O. - Matthew's little buddy from pre-school.