Fall Fun

We went on a mini field trip to Lair of the Bear Park in Idledale, Colorado today. Matthew loves this park that runs along Bear Creek. I'm amazed we made it there since it takes me so long to get out of the house with two kids. Between diaper changes, feeding Tyler and getting us all dressed it is amazing that we even get to leave the house! We had lots of fun. Matthew pretended to catch fish and kill spiders. How I love his developing imagination!

Brotherly Love

Such sweet photos of my sweet boys!

Matthew Mischief

Matthew is slowly adjusting to having a baby brother. I'm realizing how much I accomodated his every need and many desires when he was an only child. Now he hears either "no" or "just a minute" or "not right now" a lot!! So he has turned his focus to ways to get attention. One such way is illustrated in the pictures. These used to be white and pink roses Steve brought home to me just becuase he could. I loved them and was very sad to walk into the living room to find the destruction! There wasn't a petal left on any of the 12 stems.

Motherhood - Not Always Fun!

I haven't really enjoyed being a Mom the last two days. Probably mostly because I'm tired. My precious 4 week old baby boy picked up the sniffles somewhere and has been needing Mommy even more than usual - which causes Matthew to be more clingy and less cooperative because he is jealous of my time with Tyler. So....I get cranky and loose my patience with Matthew and then feel like an awful Mother. The cycle is vicious!

Then there are the things I have to say "no" to - for example:
- No, don't put peanuts in your nose.
- No, you may not write on the entertainment center with the crayons.
- No, you may not bring the bucket of sand in the house.
- No, I can't wrestle with you when I'm holding your brother.
- No, you may not watch another hour of TV - even though I really want to let you because then I don't have to entertain you.
- No, you may not have a popsicle for breakfast.

So typical - yet so tiring to have to be the "mean" Mom all the time.

Then...tonight after getting the boys loaded in the car to go to the Saturday evening service my car wouldn't start - a dead battery. I was so mad!!! I called Steve and even though I didn't say so, my tone of voice implied that he was to blame. Yuk!!! Who am I?!? Where did the nice Joan go?

I want sleep!!! I want two hours of time away with a cup of coffee and a good book!!!

My Boys!!

Little Piece of History

The other adventure we embarked on was a trip to the Littleton Historic Museum. It turned out to be much hotter that day that forecast, but we still had fun. Tyler was the youngest visitor to the museum to date!

Tiny Town Adventures

We all went to Tiny Town on Sunday. Matthew loved riding the train and exploring all the little houses. I think we wore out Grandpa though!

Pictures at Last

A friend let me borrow her digital camera so I now have photos to share! Grandma and Grandpa Harriman are here this week helping me out while Steve is visiting his parents in NY. It has been fun to watch my Dad with Tyler - he seems to really be enjoying himself. Matthew is being a "typical" two year old with some definite jealousy of the loss of Mom's time. It is really hard to keep my patience with him when he is so whiny and needy. It takes a lot of energy to care for two compared to one!!!

People have been asking whether he looks more like Steve or Me. I really couldn't tell until I saw my baby picture that Mom brought along - he's a spitting image of me as a baby. I'll post the photo after I get it scanned and you can be the judge!


Tyler Scott VanDewater


Tyler with Grandpa Harriman

He's Here!!!

Tyler Scott VanDewater arrived at 2:20 a.m. on his due date 8/17/06!! I went into labor at 11:30 p.m. on the 16th with contractions about 6 minutes apart. We called Tracy, my midwife, at midnight and told her I didn't think this train was stopping. Little did we know that it was going to go warp speed. By the time we left for the birth center about an hour later I was having contractions I had to stop for and breath through about every 4 minutes. We got to the birth center around 1:30 a.m. and my midwife quickly welcomed me (as I was in the middle of a contraction) and rushed away to another Mom who was also giving birth that night. I got in the tub a few minutes later and starting having incredibly intense contractions. We did most of the process on our own other than a nurse who came in for a few minutes here and there. About 35 minutes later I felt the need to push and my water broke. Three pushes later I birthed his head - looked up at the nurse and said "his head's out, now what" at which point she left the room and Tracy came rushing in right after. The next push got his body out and Tracy quickly removed the cord from around his neck and handed him to me. Labor and delivery lasted a total of 3 hours. Amazing!

He needed just a little oxygen right after birth, but otherwise he was perfect and doing great. He weighs 7 lbs 15 oz and is 20 inches long with dark hair. We can't tell what color his eyes are for sure - he doesn't like to open them very far. He loves to suck and we're working on the breast feeding. I am hoping my milk comes in tomorrow so I can get that worry behind me.

Matthew is doing ok with the new brother. I think he is feeling some insecurity about not having my undivided attention and is acting out a bit - especially with Daddy. Hopefully we'll figure out how to meet his needs. I'm sure he'll get a little better when I am back on my feet.

Overall I'm feeling great - just the normal post delivery discomforts. I'm so thankful to have him here and be able to see his sweet little face!! I'm having lots of fun getting to know him. Love truly does multiply!

Any Day Now

Well...any day now I am hoping to be able to post on this blog that Tyler Scott VanDewater has arrived, but not yet. My due date is next thursday, August 17, but I'm hoping to go earlier in the week. I see my midwife today for my weekly checkup.

My last day of work is tomorrow and besides packing my bag and Matthew's bag I think I'm ready to go.

Last night was tough, I had the worst heartburn and had to sleep on the couch so I could be more upright. I will not miss the hearburn!!

Steve is still looking for a job, but God has blessed him with steady electrical contracting work for the last two weeks which keeps him busy and will help supplement when I am off work for 8 weeks. I'm still praying that we will have a definite direction and decision by the end of the week or early next week so we can put that pressure behind us when the baby comes.

Waiting expectantly.....

OOPS!

So a friend told me tonight that she has been commenting on my blog but they never show up - something about moderator verification. I had been getting bogus comments so changed my settings a while back and obviously didn't do it correctly. So...I have changed my settings back and hope that you all will be able to add comments again. It is so much more fun when people respond!!

Faith Tested

Well....Steve called me at work today to say that he was "let go" with the option of resigning. We sort of knew something was coming, but think we had convinced ourselves he would still have a job. Steve has been with Children's Hospital for 17 years and in the last 8 years that I have known him has really not been happy. So...while this is scary timing (I'm three weeks away from delivering this baby), I believe that this is a blessing in disguise and a definite message from God that it is time to move on. Steve has a couple other job options that he has been pursuing and has some Electrical contrating work through his Legend Electric business that will keep some money coming in - plus he has a pretty good severence from the hospital. So while I believe that God will provide for us, it is also easy to slip into the "what if..." mode and worry that he won't get another job right away.

In the meantime, I am finding it really hard to give selflessly to my son and spend the time with him that he needs. I know he can sense a big change coming even though he doesn't understand it all and it has been showing up in his behavior. But, it is amazing what some devoted one-on-one time does to his little attitude. I'm just at the point where it isn't comfortable to do much physical playing with him.

I'm just under the three week mark now and hoping I start labor a couple days early. We have a childbirth refresher class this weekend and I have a few more things to get ready, but otherwise the car seat is in the car and I'm ready to go. My last day of work is August 10 so after that I figure it is fair game and would love to have this baby on the oustide instead of poking me on the inside! :-)

Favorite Boys!!

Here is my favorite recent picture. We went up to Echo Lake on Mt. Evans for a picnic. Daddy and son were throwing rocks in the lake.

Terrific Twos

My two year old son is terrific. BUT.....he can try my patience. I was on the phone this evening and was putting dishes away in the kitchen (Daddy wasn't home). I knew I heard something in the living room, but thought it must be harmless because I didn't remember leaving anything in there for him to get in to. My pregnancy amnesia was working overtime and boy was I wrong!!! I came around the corner and found him with a butcher knife in hand about to sink it into the ottoman and a dish full of food strewn over the coffee table and floor. I might not have been quite as mad had I not just spent two hours yesterday on my hands and knees (33 weeks pregnant) cleaning that floor hoping to keep it somewhat under control over the next few weeks. Fortunately for Matthew I stayed very calm and sent him to his room while I cleaned up the mess - after rescuing him before he severed fingers with the knife. How do they know?? When will I learn??? What should I have done for punishment??? How could I have forgotten a knife in the living room??? Yikes! It truly is amazing that children stay alive to make it to adulthood.

Anniversary

Steve and I celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary on Saturday. We went up to Evergreen for dinner and a walk around the lake. God gave us the gift of seeing some Elk and a beautiful sunset. Then on Sunday we drove up to Mt. Evans to Echo Lake and had a picnic. Matthew had a blast throwing rocks in the water and watching the Mama and 8 baby ducks swim all around. He had fishing pole envy as another little guy about his age was going fishing. We'll have to remedy that sometime soon. Nothing makes my heart sing more than to be out enjoying God's beautiful creation here in Colorado.

Masks

Everybody is original, if he tells the truth, if he speaks from himself. But it must be from his true self and not from the self he thinks he should be. (Brenda Ueland)

I found this quote on a fellow blogger's website. It is so easy to get caught up in the self I think I should be instead of the real me. I so want to live from true authenticity. I believe it is the only way to really show Jesus and to teach my child(ren) how to be really in love with Jesus. It is not the mask that Jesus loves, but the person behind the mask. The one with the age spots and crows lines from too much sun. The one who weaps and laughs, feels angry or excited, gets "nothing" done or checks off all the "to do" list items. That is the person Jesus loves.

Real "Motherly Love" Defined

I copied this from my friend Lisa. Thanks Lis!!

1 Corinthians 13 for Mothers

This was written by Jean Fleming, author of "A Mother's Heart."

If I keep my house immaculately clean and am envied by all for my interior decorating but do not show love in my family - I'm just another housewife.

If I'm always producing lovely things - sewing, art; if I always look attractive and speak intelligently, but am not loving to my family - I am nothing.

If I'm busy in community affairs, teach Sunday school and drive in the carpool but fail to give adequate love to my family - I gain nothing.

Love changes diapers, cleanse up messes and ties shoes - over and over again.

Love is kind, though tired and frazzled.

Love doesn't envy another wife - one whose children are "spaced" better or in school so she has time to pursue her own interests.

Love doesn't try to impress others with my abilities or knowledge as a mother.

Love doesn't scream at the kids.

Love doesn't feel cheated because I didn't get to do what I wanted to do today - sew, read, soak in a hot tub ...

Love doesn't lose my temper easily.

Love doesn't assume that my children are being naughty just because their noise level is irritating.

Love doesn't rejoice when other people's children misbehave and make mine look good.

Love is genuinely happy when others are honored by their children.

Thankful Heart

I've been feeling like I'm just going through the motions lately while caring for my family and working. My reading has consisted of "Curious George" and "So that's what they're for"- about breasfeeding so I don't feel like I have a lot to say. But after reading a couple other people's blogs tonight I was reminded that it is the little things in everyday life that are worth being thankful for and I decided it was worth taking the time to record some of those moments.

1. Matthew's giggle
2. Finding a new park to explore
3. Reading books to Matthew and hearing - read it again
4. Watching Steve grow through hard times
5. Rain followed by rainbows
6. Seeing God meet our needs
7. Watching Matthew chase squirrels in the back yard
8. Quick and easy dinner recipes
9. Strawberry Shortcake
10. Hearing Matthew pray "Dear Jesus....Amen"
11. Pillows...I sleep with 4 right now!
12. Nap time - for Matthew and Mommy!
13. Tissues - Matthew gave me his cold.
14. A husband who works hard to provide for his family. (not so little and always worth listing)
15. Flowers in all forms.

For these and many more I am thankful. I know I am richly blessed and it is always good to cultivate a thankful heart.

The Countdown

My countdown has begun!! I'm 30 weeks pregnant and I can't seem to escape the heat. We have had 12 days straight of over 90 degree weather and this week's forecast is more of the same. There are aspects of pregnancy I like - feeling the baby move, a buxom figure, special attention. But this time around it just feels like a lot more work and there are more things that I don't like - backaches, not being able to sleep, swollen fingers, heartburn, not being able to move to keep up after my 2 1/2 year old DS, special attention, mood swings. So I am seriously praying that his little guy decides that he wants to come about a week early. Steve and I have decided that this will be the last baby so I am trying hard to relish the chance to feel a living being growing and moving inside me, but I have to admit that it is becoming more difficult.

I was feeling very anxious yesterday - not sure what that was about. I am not normally an anxious person. In fact the only other time in my life that I have had an anxiety attack was during the first week after Matthew was born. I really don't want to go through that again as it was pure torture for me. Pregnancy, labor and delivery were all better or the same as I expectated - it was after he was born that I was unprepared for. I think the hardest thing is that I don't feel like there is anything I can do to "guarantee" that I won't have the same postpartum experience as I did with Matthew. There are so many variables that I have no control over and can't do any preparation for - hormones, Steve's emotional state, Matthew's response, lack of sleep. It is so hard for me to let go of all that, but I know I need to lay it all at Jesus' feet and at least not let the anxiety of all that creep in on me now. Fortunately God has provided some very good girlfriends who I know I can call anytime for support and encouragement and I know He will be with me no matter how joyful or terrified I feel.

I guess I better get to bed, I'm going to regret staying up this late when Matthew wakes me up in the morning.

Remarkable Obituary

This was forwarded to me from my sister.

We mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense. Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).

His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. - Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge financial settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.