When meeting with someone last week for some parenting tips Steve and I were challanged to be mindful of the number of times we praise our children during the day. I thought about that and realized that I had been so focused on how "naughty" my son could be that I had neglected to focus on all the wonderful things he does and to praise him for the times when he does listen. My sweet three year old Matthew is seemingly constantly getting himself in trouble through the choices he makes. But when I focus on outrageous praise by blowing the good stuff way out of proportion those are the things that become central instead of the number of times he ends up in time out. (The other part of the equation of course is firm limits on what I will and will not tolerate in his behavior and quick consequences so there is no confusion. )
It's a good exercise for me as I am not very good at giving verbal affirmations to my husband or others. Once again, God knew what he was doing in making me a Mom becuase in order to be a "good" one I can't stay the same. I have to keep learning and growing myself so that I can give my children what they need to learn and grow as well.
3 comments:
Because parenting isa lifelong(often frustrating) commiment we all lose sight of the fact God gave us a blank slate to love and raise the gift we were given. There are times at night when the childen are in bed as parents we are saddened by our mistakes, but joyful by our successes. Grandma June
Good word, Grandma June! And I am sure, Joan, that Matthew knows just how deeply he is loved by you! You are a "good" one. And especially good b/c you're willing to change the "not-so-good" parts. =) Can't wait to see you!
Thanks for the encouragement!
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